Friday, July 9, 2010

Movin' On

Tonight marks one of the last couple nights I'll be spending in Greenville for a while. I figure that the last official night will be the Friday before all my stuff is moved. It's sort of hard to believe. And unfortunately, the night has been a bit lonely. I'm not sure if it's because Sam isn't home or because the majority of my belongings are now in cardboard boxes's too quiet for my taste. Leah stopped by earlier. We shared a pizza and chatted for a bit. I'll definitely miss seeing her as often as I have been.

I'm leaving for Wilmington sometime tomorrow afternoon and I start work on Monday. That's crazy for me to think about. On Monday morning, I'm going to wake up in Wilmington and go to work like it's no big deal. As if I haven't been living in Greenville for the last 2 years. As if I didn't just finish my 500 client contact hours YESTERDAY (!!!). It hasn't really hit me yet, I don't think. I received my schedule for the upcoming week via e-mail. Overall, it doesn't sound so bad. I'll be staying in the office most of the day and probably shadowing a few other therapists with their families. The earliest I have to go in is 9am (which is a bit of a relief because I thought it would be starting at 8:30am...that half hour makes a big difference) and I'll be getting off at 5pm everyday except Friday, when I get off at 4pm. I'm excited to start but also nervous. It's the fear of the unknown...and starting over. I feel like I just became comfortable in Greenville. I know where most things are and how to get there. Now, I'm going to have to familiarize myself with totally new surroundings. It'll probably happen quickly though with all the driving I'll be doing for my job. I'm a little scared too, I have to admit. Not nearly as terrified as I was when I moved to Greenville, however. At least I know people in Wilmington. Looking back on it, I don't know how I survived those first few months here. They were rough. And now, leaving Greenville almost makes me...sad. I'm definitely going to miss some people...Leah, Kasey, Jodi, Rasheeka, Bryan, Jeff, Priti, and my ECU professors. But they give me a reason to come back and visit. It's funny to think about actually wanting to VISIT Greenville. I'm going to miss some places too...Chico's, The Tipsy Teapot (one of the places Brandon and I went on our first date), East Coast Wings (for the cookie skillet, of course), my internship, and even the darn clinic. When I left my internship yesterday, I knew that I wasn't coming back and I suddenly felt very nostalgic for everything that had happened over the last year. I've had some very good days and some very bad days in Greenville. But living here has certainly taught me a lot about what I can endure. I've probably felt my weakest here, but also my strongest. And I've felt stronger here, I think, because I had to BE stronger here. Unfortunately, life doesn't stop just because you're in grad school. I hope that strength stays with me in Wilmington.

I had to say goodbye to my clients this week. Some didn't really seem to care one way or the other (one of my parenting clients in particular...but she's mandated to come so I wasn't offended). It was tough to part ways with, quite possibly, my favorite couple at the clinic. I was glad when they hugged me because I wanted to hug them too. There was also an individual who I've seen for several sessions. She's made SO much's clients like her who make you feel like you've made a difference. She hugged me too and thanked me for everything I've done, which meant a lot to me because, some days, you wonder if what you do counts for anything with clients. I always thought I'd be happy to hand over my clients because it meant I was finally finished but, surprisingly, I wasn't.

I just wanted to reflect a bit on what I'm feeling tonight. I almost started crying when talking to Kasey yesterday. She asked if I was excited about moving and, suddenly, I started to swell with several different emotions. I held it together though. I think I always feel this way when a big change is on the horizon. And so I'm off to finish up the packing and hopefully get a good night's rest. However, I have a feeling I might have a bit too much on my mind.