Monday, May 30, 2011

It's What You Make It

It's Memorial Day and being off of work has afforded me a little time to finally (FINALLY) catch up with my blog. I had considered working today and, honestly, don't know what I was thinking. Yes, I do understand that Memorial Day isn't just a day off...but, truth be told, I hadn't really thought of it that way until at church yesterday (but more about that in a few minutes). It's funny how someone simply reframing something in a different way can change your mind about it. And so, while I don't agree with war, I am grateful for the men and women who have put their own lives on the line so that I can be free and openly disagree with the things in which I don't believe (as well as agree with the things I do believe!). They are in my thoughts and prayers today.

Quite a bit has been going on with me lately. I've been making moves toward becoming healthier - physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. It's not always easy. In fact, it's pretty darn tough some days. But I'm getting there...mostly because I realize how important it is.

I've been with Triumph for nearly 2 months now, which is hard to believe. It seems like it was just yesterday that I was just an unemployed, aspiring therapist with a Masters degree but no license (hence the unemployment), searching for jobs on CraigsList and becoming more and more discouraged by the day. My job isn't perfect but I am SO grateful to have found it. Since my last entry, I have gotten my provisional license (woo hoo!), which means I was able to keep my job as team lead (umm...thank goodness?). So I'm finally able to count my client contact hours toward full licensure. I have 3 years to get 1000 hours and, with this job, I think it'll be doable. I'm slowly getting to know my co-workers and, for the most part, like them very much. As team lead, I supervise 2 Intensive In-Home Specialists. Almost 2 weeks ago, we had to part ways with one of my team members (long story) so, that's been a little stressful. Until someone steps in to fill the position, my other team member, Cassie, and I are doing all the work. I'm hoping, and have been told, that the position should be filled sooner rather than later. Other than that, the job has been leaps and bounds better than Youth Villages. The families are still challenging but everything else is just so much more manageable. I feel less stressed and less drained at the end of the day, even though my hours are still long. The paperwork isn't as demanding. I feel more able to set limits and boundaries. Honestly though, I think my positive feelings toward the job are due to more than just the job itself. After having 3 months off, to recuperate from YV, I'm just in a better place than I was - even when I started at YV. Also, having such a strong and wonderful support system in my own city has been amazing. And, of course, being closer in proximity to my family, being able to go home for holidays, and talking with them frequently on the phone has helped a ton. I had a training on Friday and, as it turned out, all the team leads from my office were there. It was a good experience because, first of all, I'm weird and actually really like the trainings and, secondly, I had the opportunity to become better aquainted with the other team leads. I was able to see them in a more "human" role and they were able to see me that way. For the first time, I felt like I was part of their team (it's tough when you're the new kid and everyone else has been there for over a year). Now, don't get me wrong, I still get frustrated. I still feel like throwing my hands up sometimes at the end of the day. I still wonder at times how I'm going to make it through the week. BUT I am much more able to keep a positive attitude (the bigger paycheck might help with that a little!).

Things with my new roomie, Jamie, have been great. At first, she stayed to herself quite a bit but we've been talking and hanging out a lot more. I've introduced her to several of my friends and I've gotten to the point that I'm comfortable calling her a "friend" too. Sam was in town this past weekend and the 3 of us spent the better part of Saturday just sitting around my dining room table, experimenting with make-up, and talking. Afterward, Sam commented on how much she liked Jamie and I agreed. It was then that I realized how lucky I was to have found such a great roommate, especially seeing as how we met on CraigsList (yeah, I know). Also, the apartment has really come together and I think I'm pretty much finished decorating. I really, really like our space and I enjoy spending time here.

I've recently returned to Journey Church and it was a good decision. I'd taken a little break...not so much on purpose but because I'd been out of town nearly every Sunday. Since returning, I've actually gotten baptized. It's something I've wanted to do for a long time but was afraid for some reason...maybe because I've always been a little intimidated about how much I don't know about God, church, and the Bible. But I took a leap and did meant a lot to me to go public with my faith. Mom and Dad came to see it, which also meant a lot to me. I'd been prepared to do it alone, especially since few of my friends are involved in church, but to have my parents there made it that much more special. And they were proud of me for doing it.

I've said it before and I'll say it again...I LOVE being so close to my friends. Just being aware of how much I would have probably missed out on over the last few weeks solidifies that feeling. We've been keeping up with our weekly potluck tradition. Sara is in New Hampshire for the summer (miss you!) but Molly, Tim, and I are planning to keep it going in her absence. I had a few friends over on Friday night for Sam's Mary Kay party and, again, I realized how difficult it would be to do things like that if I was in Greenville or Wilmington or New Bern or wherever other than here. I know that things may not always be as they are now and I can't say that I'll never move out of the Raleigh area but I do intend to enjoy and take advantage of the time that I, and so many of my friends, are here and can share moments with one another.

Until next time... :) <3