Post-Election Excitement...and Attachment Theory

It has been a historical week for America. Last night, we elected the first ever African American president of the United States. And on a more local level, North Carolina elected our first ever female governor. It was really a momentus election.

I can't say that I would have been heartbroken if John McCain had won. While I don't agree with many of his or Sarah Palin's principles, I find it hard to believe that the next four years could be any worse than the last eight. Then again, maybe they could. Hopefully, with Barack Obama in office, we won't find out. I have to admit though that I was a little nervous at the beginning of last night when I saw that McCain started with 13 electoral votes and Obama with only 3. I was starting to worry that everyone I'd talked to had been wrong...we might end up with yet another Republican president. Anyway, all this isn't really what I wanted to write about. What I really wanted to highlight was the history that was made last night. This became very obvious with the coverage of one particular church in Atlanta, GA. Everyone in there was just ecstatic when Obama won. For many of them, this was something they never thought they would live to see...a black president. I mean, when the Civil Rights Movement started, who would have fathomed such a thing? America has really made some progress. And just for the record, I did not vote for Barack Obama because he's black. I voted for him because I think it's time for a change. You can't continue doing the same thing when that thing is no longer working. Secondly, I voted for him because he believes in reproductive freedom for women. And thirdly, I voted for him because, like me, he wants to see our troops come home from the war. I have a hard time understanding how anyone could be for war. But again, that's me.

If you haven't heard Obama's speech after his victory was announced last night, I suggest you find it somewhere. It was pretty amazing. I literally cried. I didn't think I would, but I did. For some reason, everytime he starts talking about Michelle and his kids, I lose it. No, I didn't sob or anything but it was emotional. Even Jesse Jackson was crying. It was also memorable when he mentioned the 106 year old woman who came out to vote. That makes me a little irritated with the young, able-bodied people who did not. I mean, each to their own, sure...but how can you not be interested in who will be running your country for the next 4 years? I never thought I would be into politics like this. I certainly wasn't the year I voted for the first time. But, last night, I couldn't drag myself away from the TV and I'm glad to be much more politically aware this time around.

On a totally different note, something in Dr. Hill's class really grabbed my attention this morning. We were discussing attachment theory and the components of a secure attachment. These were things like warmth and affection, responsiveness and sensitivity, comfort and security, etc. He told a story about a graduate student of his who was upset over her recent breakup (right then, I knew this was going to hit close to home for me). She was blaming herself for everything that had gone wrong and really putting her ex-boyfriend on a pedestal. Dr. Hill brought up the components of secure attachment and asked if her boyfriend exhibited these things. Of course, he didn't have all of them. And most of us wouldn't. But his story made me look at my relationship with Ben and which of the components he had or provided me with. The one I feel was missing the most was comfort and security. I never really knew where I stood with Ben. Was he dating me because he wanted to be with me for the rest of his life or just until something better came along (like a Ph.D. program)? I was never entirely sure. Then there were times when he would mention going abroad for his education (in addition to the year he spent in Scotland). That was, of course, terrifying for me because that meant even more time apart...very far apart. What sticks out for me the most, though, was a time right before he left for Atlanta. I was very upset about the impending separation and he "comforted" me by saying that, no matter what, I would find someone who would make me happy and he would find someone who would make him happy. I understand where he was going with that, but it just was NOT what I wanted to hear at that moment. That's something I won't soon forget.

I didn't mean to end on a negative note. And really, it's not so negative. Realizing that, while mine and Ben's relationship was very good for a long time, it wasn't perfect. Hopefully, now, I can find someone who can give me the comfort and security I didn't always feel with him.