It's almost the end of another week. I can't believe how quickly time is passing. In a way, it's good because Lord knows I am ready to be done with school. At the same time, I'm becoming overwhelmed by everything that is coming up in the next few weeks. Actually, the rest of the semester is going to be insane. Looking at my list of due dates makes me want to hyperventilate. Damon (one of my professors) told me that he hasn't enjoyed a Thanksgiving in years. That's really depressing, you know? I love Thanksgiving and I don't want to be stressed out the entire time. It'll probably be that way though. That's sort of how Fall Break was...I just couldn't let myself relax. I woke up after 10am one morning, my heart pounding. I can't sleep in anymore! And I'd promised myself I wouldn't do anything academic...I worked on assignments Saturday and Tuesday. So much for that promise. I suppose this is just something I'm going to have to get used to.
Speaking of Fall Break, it went by WAY too quickly. I couldn't believe that something I'd been looking forward to for a couple months was just here and gone in no time. On Friday, I went home for the first time since August...and I was looking forward to it. However, I didn't realize how much going home would remind me of Ben. I associate everything about home with him...my house, the town, the places we used to go. It was more difficult than I'd bargained for. Mom got me out of the house though, thank goodness. First, we went by her work to get her paycheck. What I found when we got there was that all her co-workers already knew my business...meaning, they knew about mine and Ben's breakup. Well, except one woman who told my mom I didn't come home to see her, I came home to see Ben. Ha. I set her straight real fast. Then, Mom and I grabbed some lunch and did a little shopping. There's nothing like retail therapy. I was in a much better mood after that. Later, we went to see The Women with my mom's twin.
Saturday didn't start off so well. My dad discovered that one of my tires was flat and came down on me about how dangerous that was, how I should have checked my tires before I left, etc. It didn't help that I was trying to work on a paper at the time. And did I mention that I was sitting in my almost empty bedroom that no longer even feels like my bedroom? It was depressing to just be in there. It reminded me of Ben too. Salt on the wound. Anyway, the tire dilemma was taken care of and the rest of Saturday was alright. Well, except for the small breakdown I had. Everything started to fall in on me...the empty bedroom, the constant reminder of Ben, the fact that I might be stuck in Pleasant Garden for the rest of my break and not be able to see my friends at all. Anyway, it wasn't a pretty picture...but I got over it. And the day ended with some baking :).
Sunday, I went to Raleigh and had dinner with Sara, Sarah, and Molly. It was nice to get together with them but it's never long enough. I feel like we're just falling back into our routine with each other when it's time to leave again. I really wish there had been an MFT program in Raleigh. Don't get me wrong, I'm really grateful for the people I've met in Greenville...I just miss that city and my old people. Raleigh is home to me.
On Monday, I had lunch with one of my Meredith professors and it was really good to catch up. He's probably 75% responsible for the fact that I'm even in graduate school. He pushed me to apply, take the GREs, write my personal statement (that was probably the biggest obstacle - I put that thing off for months). I know I wasn't easy to work with...I'm very stubborn when I want to be. So I have him to thank for actually doing something with my degree. After lunch, I swung by Sarah's to get my things and it was back to Greenville. Fall Break was over for me. Sigh.
Tomorrow, I'm leaving for Arapahoe, NC to volunteer at Camp WholeHeart for kids and teens with heart defects. I've been working on the event for a while in my assistantship and now it's finally happening. I'm a little nervous about being around so many kids because I'm just not used to it. Not to mention the fact that I've never been to camp. It should be an interesting experience, to say the least!
I hope a good weekend is had by all :).